you’d think he could maybe smile since his bff just got promoted to captain but alas bones is a salty motherfucker
that’s because he’s picturing the next five years
the next five long ass years
starting with jim throwing an arm over his shoulder midway through his fourth celebratory drink later all BONES YOU GOTTA COME MAN IT’LL BE GREAT (“why do you do that? why do you think i sound like that?” “like what?” “like i’ve been violently lobotomized.”) even though no, bones, it totally won’t, but it’s the maru all over again, jim says i want you there and bones bitches about it at the top of his lungs, because there is an actual inverse relationship between how loudly bones bitches and the strength of his resolve (similar to the one between the number of possible life-threatening scenarios in the universe and jim’s sense of self-preservation; they drew up the mathematical proofs one night over takeout and beer), and what these naïve applauding fools don’t know (and they’re all geniuses or whatever so there’s not a lot of shit they don’t know) is how little sleep bones is going to get chasing after this idiot hero complex having douchebag for the next five goddamn years.
except no wait look at uhura, she knows. she totally knows. she and bones totally have matching gurl please expressions on their faces, because she’s in kind of the same boat with mister ”BUT THE PRIME DIRECTIVE CLEARLY STATES—” oh man i foresee a friendship there based in commiseration and mutual eye rolling.
I cannot even with these tags